Sophies Story
Sophie was referred to Phoenix by a family member who was aware of our service. Sophie is 20 and was quickly assessed as a High Risk victim of abuse and was discussed at MARAC. Sophie received target hardening from Phoenix and worked with her Victim Safety Officer to reduce risk and increase safety. Sophie was supported in making a statement to police despite having grave fears regarding repercussions. Sophie has been supported with the ongoing police and court investigations.
To increase her understanding, Sophie was encouraged to attend the RESET programme. During her first attendance, Sophie suffered a panic attack due to the overwhelming fear. However through the support of staff, she returned the next week- initially sitting by the door so she could leave if needed. Sophie quickly began to relax and soon sat front and centre of the group. Sophie reflects that she has come so far in her personal growth as well as safety.
Layla’s Story
Layla* was 13 and the 2nd eldest of 4 children who witnessed significant DA from Dad to Mam. There was a serious incident and safeguarding teams stepped in. Dad went into a new relationship quickly and expecting a new child. Layla has supervised contact with him twice a week. Layla displayed significant aggressive outbursts over ‘minor’ things, damaged property and hurting people. School also reported an increase in challenging behaviour.
Layla completed 16 sessions and through positive role modelling and setting of boundaries she came to trust her worker and fully explored her own feelings and reactions. Layla recognised the reactions she utilised to protect herself and the disadvantages of those still being in place.
At closure, the worker praised Layla for the journey she had been on and she accepted the changes that she has made in her life – “I cant image myself now being the person who punches walls”. The worker reports that Layla appears to ‘understand herself more’ and ‘has greater self worth’. Mam reports that Layla is so much calmer and they enjoy family time- she has also been able to have new internal and external doors fitted as Layla is no longer damaging them.
Zac’s Story
Zac is a 12 year old boy. His mother, Kelly had previously been supported by Phoenix when Zac was 1, due to violence from Zac’s father Mark. Kelly and Zac had a very close relationship as he grew up and Kelly commented that they were ‘more like friends’. Mark has been in and out of Zac’s life and has spent a significant period in prison for violence and offences linked to substances. Both Zac and Kelly were referred to the Youth Respect Programme.
Kelly has found Zac’s behaviour increasingly difficult and due to their relationship dynamic she found it hard to put boundaries in place. Kelly told us she was fearful of Zac and his reactions- which ranged from breaking things like doors at home, throwing things at Kelly to cause damage, intimidating her by ‘squaring up’ to her and punching and kicking her. Kelly had called police on several occasions. Kelly had significant fears that Zac would hurt her, but also feared he would end up in prison. Zac also struggled to attend school and this was a trigger point for some of the abusive incidents towards Kelly. Kelly has also had struggles with her own mental health during Zac’s life and felt that this was having a negative effect on her.
Work with Zac has not been straightforward and there have been concerns raised in regard to school and his behaviour and motivation there, Dad has also been back in contact which caused some difficulties. However, at closure, significant improvements have been made- Zac is now in an alternative education provision that appears to meet his needs, Mam reports that while Zac sometimes tries to ‘push the boundaries’ at home she is feeling more confident to deal with this and feels that the power and control balance is now back in her hands as a parent. Zac reports that he understands his emotions better and feels more in control of them.
When Zac was asked what he thought might happen if he had not worked with Elliot he stated, “I wouldn’t have been able to manage my anger and would have continued getting in trouble in school and arguing all the time with mam. I think they would have chucked me out of school, and Mam may have thrown me out as well”.
Counter Allegation with Victim Work
Anne ** and Peter ** were referred to Phoenix by their social worker in 2023. The couple had separated and child protection concerns were raised around Anne’s alcohol use and the presence of domestic abuse in their relationship although it was unclear to professionals what the dynamics were . The couple have two children who remained in the family home with Peter as their main carer with their mother having supervised contact.
The complexity of the allegations meant that social services wanted support to identify risk and make a plan around the children.
Staff carried out separate, comprehensive assessments with Anne and Peter including liaising with professionals and forming a history of the relationship. Through these assessments our experienced staff identified that Anne was a victim of coercive control from Peter and that this needed to be considered within the future plans.
It was identified that Peter would benefit from a behaviour change programme however he remained unsuitable due to his lack of acknowledgement of his abusive behaviours and continued standpoint that Anne was abusing him.
Anne was visibly shaken by the acknowledgement of the service that she was not a perpetrator of domestic abuse. She was then referred to the Phoenix victim team and undertook some direct work around increasing her knowledge of domestic abuse, increasing her general confidence and also specific work around safety planning. Over the next few months Anne managed to reduce Peter’s control over her life and began to build her resilience and ability to parent safely. Since this point Anne has managed to secure a home for herself allowing her to move out of her parents home, has worked to reduce her alcohol intake, and is now having unsupervised contact with her children. The children have recently reported that they want to reside with their mother full time which is under review.
The family’s journey continues however Anne has reported feeling much safer and happy in herself. She has improved well-being and has significantly improved her health and physical appearance.
Anne thanked the service and stated that the counter allegation assessment was ‘life changing’ for her, allowing her to break free from the years of gas lighting that had caused her to feel that she was always in the wrong. The change in approach from the social worker allowed her to rebuild her life and move towards a happier, safer future.
Perpetrator Work
David** self referred to Phoenix Das acknowledging that his behaviour in a previous relationship had been problematic with issues around jealousy and controlling behaviour. He felt that in order to have a future healthy relationship he would need to access a behaviour change programme. David took part in three assessments designed to explore his ability to take responsibility, explore adverse childhood experiences, complete a risk assessment and assess suitability for the programme.
David joined a behaviour change programme aimed at reducing incidence of domestic abuse by challenging beliefs and creating the opportunity for individuals to decide to change their behaviour. David stated he was nervous however soon reported the other group members and the group facilitators made him feel welcome.
David took part in a range of exercises designed to explore his decision to begin to use unhealthy behaviours within an intimate relationship. The participant was able to identify how he had developed a negative view of relationships from his own childhood and how he took this into his adult relationships. He identified unhealthy ways of dealing with feelings of insecurity and jealousy, responding to conflict and holding unhealthy beliefs around being a man and decision making in a relationship. He stated during the programme ‘I knew my behaviour was problematic but I made excuses not to explore why that was’.
David completed exercises designed to allow him practice skills in managing his emotions and he reported how he had found this really useful and was able to give examples of practising the skills outside of the group room.
On completion of the programme David stated ‘the skills covered have allowed me to change my behaviour and I can see how my relationships with my children have improved’ he also stated ‘I have met someone new and I have not rushed in where I would have before, I am managing my own insecurities much better’.
At the 6 weeks post check David stated ‘the changes in my thinking and behaviour mean this is the healthiest relationship I have ever had’, ‘I feel the skills Phoenix covered have encouraged me to strive to work towards a healthy non-abusive intimate relationship’.
